Understanding death

Zhirui could easily relate to death, under the context of food where animals were killed for food. This was probably because we are a vegetarian family. We took from the viewpoint that killing is not kind and let Zhirui feel compassionate about animals. From there, we explain why we do not eat meat.

She could accept her status very well. At times when she was offered a marshmellow or gummy that contains gelatine, we would explain that it contains animal bones and so we do not eat it. She readily says 'ok' and returned the sweet. I'm indeed proud of her for her determination against temptations.

Zhirui has a preloved book titled 'Granny'. The story is about the relationship between a little girl and her Granny, and how one day Granny pass away. I remember reading this book to her when she was barely two years old. During our first read, could somehow tell that she's trying to understand what it means by 'passing on' and why Granny is never coming back. During subsequent reads, she began to feel sad with teary eyes.

Recently, Zhirui's great grandmother (太婆婆) passed away. I did not tell her clearly what's going on when we attended the wake. I bet she only remembers her new-found friend Ariel jie jie. On the last couple of days eventually, we spoke to her at more length of the matter. As usual, she has many questions to ask about the new topic. "Why is Tai Po Po sleeping inside?", "Why did she die?"... She seems to understand the solemnity of the event when she displayed more appropriate/reserved behavior on the last day. Perhaps, this was so because she saw me weep.

Last Saturday, we went tomb-sweeping (扫墓) at Mandai Columbarium. It was for my mother. It was also the first time Zhirui went. (By Chinese custom, it is not good/auspicious for young children to visit such 'yin' places.) There had always been a sense of guilt lingering in me during the past two Qing Ming Festivals for not being able to bring Zhirui to pay respect to my late mother..

I've never mentioned to Zhirui about her maternal grandmother (婆婆) and that she had left this world long before she was born. Therefore when we asked her to call "婆婆" when praying, she did not do so. She must have felt very strange to acknowledge a person seen on a photo as her granny. On the second time when both sb and i knelt down with Zhirui to pray, she finally called "婆婆". My eyes felt wet at that instance. Zhirui, you are such a sensible girl..