Dealing with Zhirui's separation anxiety

Since Teacher Joyce left Zhirui's school in July, i noticed she had became very unsettled and insecure. More troubling still, she protested against attending the school. This had made almost every drop-offs at school an emotional meltdown for zhirui (and sometimes me).

A few episodes of absence from school due to illnesses and a holiday trip had not been very helpful in reinstating zhirui's interests and assurance in school and teachers. Somehow or rather, I have been hoping that the school could find a nice teacher to fill up her form teacher post but there seems no light at the end of the tunnel. I can tell that Zhirui needs a long-staying caregiver whom she can trust and connect with. Now, i could fully comprehend Ah Yi's decision to to follow Raphael's teacher when she joined another school..

In the earlier days, Zhirui's behaviour was more of demanding for more parental attention. Recently, she had begun to turn into a whiny and clingy koala bear.

I did some research online to understand the psychology behind whining and clinging.. Both are normal developmental behaviour of children aged between 1 and 3.

Whining- Adapted from http://www.parenting.com/article/Toddler/Behavior/how-to-silence-a-whiny-child/.
Whining occurs on early talkers and tends to peak in a child's development when she's feeling out of control and overwhelmed. As she lacks the vocabulary to articulate her frustrations, whining takes over.

Clingyness- Extracted from http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/coping_with_a_clingy_toddler.html "Clingyness is actually a toddler’s natural response to his or her primary “assignment” – becoming autonomous. Even at the tender ages of 1, 2 and 3, children want to be independent, and their entire childhood will be about making that happen – but it’s a very gradual process and it can be scary. Clinging on to Mom or Dad at certain moments is an attempt to downsize that scariness. It’s a response to this normal process of becoming his own person." (Do you know? "toddle" actually means trailing behind mum/dad.)

For separation anxiety faced by toddlers during school drop-offs, experienced teachers had this to share, "It’s also important that the parent lets the child know that they understand they’re scared, but that mommy and daddy are sure they will be safe and will have a good time at school. And assurance that they will be back again. Teachers may help by allowing children to express their feelings about missing mom or dad."

After reading articles here and there, i've listed some ways to develop a child's independence:
1) give them lots of assurance
2) give them many chances to make choices and take charge (feeling they are in control)
3) guide them to express their feelings and thoughts
4) allow defiances (erm.. i'll try..)